Lost a friend and a line

Hello again... Do I always greet you in some way or another? I’m new to blogging. 

Today started as a victory. A step forward in my survivorship. This morning I was prepped to remove my Hickman line from my chest. The significance being that I don’t need as many treatments or infusions as I previously did. One step closer to finding a new normal after cancer. 

The nurses had some trouble starting an IV so I opted to have a port placed. At least I’ll be able to swim and shower without having to spend 15 minutes covering the area. The port went in great and I’m back at home. 

Today I also found out that we lost a friend to cancer. I didn’t know that he was battling cancer and so the news came as a shock. This guy was awesome. He was hilarious, kind, and optimistic. The kind of person you like to be around. I respect that he chose to battle cancer in private. It likely allowed him to be saved from the “you’re dying” looks, the pity voice, and the change in how people treat you. 

I just wish life was a bit more fair. It’s hard for me to see a reason as to why good people are taken too soon. I do realize why they call it a battle... We all go out and fight for victory. Some of us lose our lives to the cause while some of us advance the war. We’re all so passionate about the win (curing cancer) that we have no choice but to believe and strive for victory. 


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So sorry for this loss. We all choose to fight in our own way but its an unfair and unkind fight.

The port was a good choice, much easier to manage. You have a great attitude and that is important for your well-being. You are one step closer indeed. Keep up the good work.
Brittany likes this comment
Hi Brittany,

I'm glad you don't need as many transfusions as you did before. I've never had a port, only PICC line and then a central line, but I understand that ports give you much more freedom.

I am also an AML survivor. I was diagnosed 11 months before you did and had my transplant 11 months before yours. It's a tough journey. Recovery doesn't come easy.

It's very difficult to lose friends to cancer. While I was getting my transplant I met a lady two doors down from me, who got SCT a few days earlier. Her transplant failed and she passed away last September. It is still difficult for me to grasp why some people die from leukemia and others live. I'm dealing with survivor's guilt. I feel very fortunate that I am recovering well, but I mourn those who have lost the fight.
Jane2016 I deal with survivors guilt as well. It’s very hard some days to hold back the ‘why me’ tears. I also had an experience with losing a hospital mate to GVHD, it was so heartbreaking to see him walking the halls one week and then hear his family mourn him the next.
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Vital Info


April 29, 2018


December, 1988

Cancer Info

Acute Myeloid Leukemia

Acute Myeloid Monocytic Leukemia

February 21, 2017


Sorafinib (Nexavar)


The days when it takes every single moment to fight to live.

To fiercely show the people I love how much I love them. Also to really live my days because I had to fight so very hard for them.

I appreciate any support I can get. I’m trying so hard to fight with grace and fiercely!

Grace, to allow me to try my hardest and accept me where I am in my journey.

Seattle Cancer Care Alliance

Try to stretch and walk each day to keep your mobility.

I fight with the mindset that cancer will not win. It was hard and I had moments of negativity but I tried to contain them.


Shortness of breath, cough, fatigue, loss of appetite

Allogeneic stem cell transplant, 07/22/2017


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